It was the year 2002 and I was returning to school after having dropped out for a year. I was looking to accomplish something and succeed academically, what I found instead was found myself caught in a crossfire between Heaven and Hell. In the end it was me who suffered because the crossfire between Heaven and Hell could only reach the middle ground. And that middle ground was me.
I'm not sure how it started or where the source of "enlightment" came from, but I remember one fall morning I had received a glow that was masked with the most wonderful feeling in the world. I felt powerful, beautiful, full of life, at ease, and even immortal. I had a strength, a source of power, radiating within me that I had never experienced before, and yet somehow I questioned everything that was happening and refused to accept the tranquility of the state of being that I had reached. Eventually, this refusal to accept and continuation to question lead to my demise.
That fall morning I was walking out of my first period classroom in high school towards my second period class. There was a strange calling within me to run out of the school and a sense that I would be lifted out of my body. I refused to go with this strange urgency that had developed in me, pulling at me like a star pulling at its planets with it gravitational pull. Instead of heading out of the building as I felt like doing by the sensation that was creeping within me, I walked calmly into my second period classroom and sat at my usual seat at the back of the classroom. Once there, the sensation did not die down, it only picked up. As I sat there I kept fighting as the pressure of wanting to run out of the classroom strengthened its pull. That was until, out of nowhere, my eyes caught a bright flash of light outside the classroom window, and before I knew it, something invisible within me flew out of my body. It was the strangest feeling in the world, but it felt really good at the same time. It felt like I had reached some type of climax, with so much power and sensation trickling throughout my entire body. I then heard music so beautiful playing out, music that sounded like angels had played themselves, music that I would imagined must have been played when Jesus had resurrected from the dead towards Heaven. I burst out laughing uncontrollably only to be questioned by the teacher asking if I was behaving at the back of the classroom. Despite it all, during the whole time I kept fighting the force and pulling myself back. No matter how powerful that force was that flew out of my body, I chose to fight it and stay in my seat, although I could not hold it back.
To this day, I'm not sure what happened. But ever since I have felt as if a part of me have left my body and never returned. To make matters worst, the story does not end there. In the days following the incident I began to question what happened during that time, and began questioning whether some force with powers greater than I was was at play. One day, choosing to fight whatever it was that was after me... I stood up in class and shouted really loud to whatever it is. At that moment it felt like I had been run over my something really large, kicked in the stomach. My knees started cracking, the inside and back of my head started making popping noises, the once tranquil that I once felt was gone and now it felt like blood was quickly rushing out of my body. And the worst feeling of all was the feeling that I was being raped (I choose not to go into detail).
To be continued...
